Written by El Presidente
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Sunday, 24 June 2012

Roy Hodgson has been sacked by the FA just minutes after another torrid display by England and their defeat via a penalty shoot out by Italy.

England who decided to let Italy have 99% possession of the ball, despite possessing some of the most exciting and fast forwards in the World game and relied upon the post and goalkeeper Joe Hart to keep them in the game.

Hodgson's likely successor is the man sat next to me in the pub who throughout the game offered better tactical advice than Hodgson.

Sid Morris, 56, a veteran of England defeats in penalty shootouts will take up his appointment as soon as possible.

He told me "Fuck this shit, every fucking time; it's just the same old England in different shirts. Soak up pressure and then get the crap knocked out of them in the penalties. I am done, I am just so over this, I can write tomorrow's headlines "Unlucky England", "The Italian Job", "Cheryl's Tears for Ashley" and the inevitable "It Isn't Coming Home!" fuck it, I am going to smash up a Fiat Punto and run riot down the pasta aisle at Waitrose."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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