Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 25 July 2012

image for NASCAR Announces A Monumental Change In Its Races
The Gary Busey International Speedway located in Tarzana, California.

DAYTONA BEACH, Florida - NASCAR first came into being in 1947, when it was organized by Bill France.

The auto racing giant now sanctions over 1,500 races in over 40 states including the countries of Switzerland, Cambodia, and Bolivia.

NASCAR Vice-President of Publicity and Fuel Consumption Drexton "Zoom Zoom" Quigglebrick recently met with Dottie Bazooka of Sports Balls Illustrated Daily at The Davy Crockett Barbecue Grill.

Dottie Bazooka is the very attractive heiress to The Bart Bazooka Bazooka Manufacturing Company located in Valdosta, Georgia.

She is also married to the professional wrestler known as The Maniacal Milwaukee Mauler.

Quigglebrick told her that just this past week the NASCAR board of directors had voted to implement a monumental change into its racing world.

He pointed out that the last two big innovations were added ten years ago when they began installing CD players in each of the race cars and when they mandated that the race car numbers be bigger and much easier to see.

"Zoom Zoom," a nickname he was given by Texas Governor Rick Perry, told Ms. Bazooka that the innovative change will go into effect on August 1, 2012.

The board voted 10 to 2, to change the direction of all NASCAR races from counter clockwise to clockwise. He noted that the reason was due to the fact that after 65 years the racing public had expressed that they had become bored with watching the races start from the left to the right (counter clockwise).

[EDITOR'S NOTE: The two board members who voted against the change were Kelvis "The Pelvis" Pocketmeister, 51, and Sherleen "Tattoos" Bigginfaust, 29. Both individuals have been relieved of their board of director duties.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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