Written by Ossurworld
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Sunday, 24 June 2012

We noticed on a popular but insipid sports website that bored writers are debating how many championship rings LeBron James shall collect in his career.

If we noticed correctly, the planet Saturn started with three rings and seems to be still increasing the total: up to six or seven, and the envy of LeBron.

This may be the first time since John Fowles wrote his famous story, The Collector, that anyone figured LeBron was of the same ilk.

We keep thinking back to the great music hits of the past. They were often called "One Hit Wonders."

There is a career to be made off the singular accomplishment of life. We have no doubt that, as a result of his NBA Finals championship, LeBron will have a "dining out" appeal for a million invitations. He'll never go hungry.

Someone should be careful because somewhere down the line LeBron may become The Man Who Came to Dinner-for one occasion and staying for years.

We prefer to stick to the metaphors of the sports age, like "One and Done." Though we are not prepared to stick a fork into LeBron, he seems tantalizingly juicy right now. We don't know what his leftover appeal may be.

A few fans may think we are among those who don't like LeBron. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Like Bill Russell handing off the championship trophy to King James, we know that something must be passed besides the torch.

Russell won eleven rings, and LeBron wished for only a half dozen rings in a moment of great hope. The prolific Russell was laughing as he handed the NBA Championship award to LeBron, which made us wonder at what Russell knows.

This brings us back to our original question about how many rings LeBron will eventually win over the next decade or so that he will play in peak condition.

You see, dear readers, it is a mere guess on the alignment of the stars, both on earth and in the heavens. We know only this: it won't be eleven.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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