Written by radiogagger
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Thursday, 28 June 2012

image for Euro 2012: Germany to be thrown out for ineligible player
German? Who Do You Think You Are Kidding?

An unnamed Italian official today called on Germany to be expelled from the tournament for fielding ineligible players.

Germany reached the semi-final by beating penniless Greece in the quarter-final, and won all three group matches, verses Portugal 1-0, Holland 2-1 and Denmark 2-1. They also won all ten qualifying matches.

However, the source claimed today that the Germans have been fielding not one, but as many as six players who are not even German. Posting on the 'only-half-german-blog' he named the following players and their reason for ineligibility.

Miroslav Klose & Lucas Podolski - born in Poland.
Mario Gomez - born to a Spanish parent.
Sami Khedira - born to a Tunisian parent.
Mesut Ozil - born to Turkish parents.
Jerome Boateng - born to Ghanaian parent.

UEFA have yet to comment but may be forced to investigate if this is a breach of rules, or is it just morally wrong, like comedians investing in tax avoidance schemes. A German official refused to comment on the record to our reporter, but said off record "Only six? Thank God, last time we counted non Germans in our team it was as many as nein"

Germany play Italy in the semi-final on Thursday.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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