Written by El Presidente
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Thursday, 21 June 2012

An angry parent has challenged the validity of his son's School sports day after all the participating children were declared to be "winners" even though they lost in events. Especially galling for the parent was the fact that a student, who was suffering from MS, who could barely walk, let alone run, who came last in a 100 meter sprint, 30 minutes behind the next slowest runner was declared a "champion".

"The kid came last, it was awful, embarrasing to watch, how the heck is he a "winner" let alone a "champion", it really makes me wonder if this whole thing isn't fixed, what with fat kids being called "inspirational" even though they collapse at the finish line? America is for winners not losers!"

The school principal said "These kids are 7 and 8 years old, they gave it their all, they tried and they did their best, they are all winners and champions in my eyes."

However and rather unfortunately, not all the parents see things that way and want kids who did not win events to be stripped of their medals and for the principal and other teachers who officiated at the sports day to be charged with fraud, cheating and misrepresentation.

"Look, my boy won that race and he is a winner, why the hell should his victory be tarnished because some other kid was fat or handicapped, they are not winners, my kid was, why do they get medals also, why are they winners? There is something un-American about this. It spoils it for the able bodied and slim kids, it really does."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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