Written by Shaun Hittle
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Monday, 22 May 2006

image for Pistons Defeat Cleveland Cavaliers in Game 7; Gooden Upset with Life-Switch
Drew Gooden

Detroit, Michigan-The recent life-switch of newly re-elected New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin and Cleveland Cavaliers Forward Drew Gooden proved only fruitful for Nagin Sunday, as the Cavaliers were eliminated from their game seven NBA playoff series with the Detroit Pistons. Nagin, competing in his fifth game for the Cavaliers as Gooden, was unable to boost Cleveland past the heavily-favored Pistons in a decisive 79-61 loss.

With the Cavaliers down two games to zero in their best of seven series with the Pistons, Gooden's agent contacted embattled Mayor Nagin's office to propose the life-switch. "We needed a change, and fortunately, of the six billion people on the planet, Nagin is Drew's doppelganger," stated Gooden's agent. Nagin, still battling back from the after-effects of the mismanagement of Hurricane Katrina, was skeptical about the switch at first. According to his publicist, Nagin was concerned that he would not be able to grow a beard quick enough to match Gooden's. He was also worried that the height difference would be noticeable. Once Gooden's agent allayed these concerns by proposing a make-up artist and elevator shoes with lifts, Nagin accepted the offer.

The switch, which was approved by Cavalier management, looked to be benefiting Nagin and Gooden, as the Cavaliers, with Nagin filling in for Gooden, rallied back to extend the series to a game seven. Meanwhile, Gooden, posing as Nagin, was re-elected on Saturday as the Mayor of New Orleans. With his position as mayor confirmed the day before, some in the Cavalier organization are questioning whether Nagin's commitment to Sunday's game seven match-up with the Pistons was compromised. Speculation was heightened as to the legitimacy of the life-switch days earlier when Nagin, posing as Gooden, began grumbling about the itching and rash from the fake beard.

The switch appeared to fool the media and the nation despite evidence of the misdeed that surfaced when Gooden, acting as Nagin, told reporters at a press conference, "I hope the Hornets (the New Orleans based NBA team that had been displaced this season due to Hurricane Katrina) never return to town. They're no Cleveland Cavaliers."

Gooden, speaking as Gooden, told an inside source on Sunday that he has no plans to life-switch again with Nagin, but did state that he would consider a career in politics.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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