Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 19 June 2012

image for Kobe Bryant of The Los Angeles Lakers Is Getting Ready To Make An Amazing Announcement
Kobe says that to stay in shape during the off-season he dribbles a basketball 3,000 times on a daily basis.

LOS ANGELES - It is no secret to the members of the Lakers Nation that their superstar Kobe Bryant is not a happy camper and has not been since back in the glory days of Shaquille O'Neal, Robert Horry, and Rick Fox.

Bryant recently confessed to Dottie Bazooka of Sports Balls Illustrated Weekly that at times he feels as if he's the Lone Ranger. He says he looks around and he doesn't even see his old trusty sidekick Tonto.

Kobe told Miss Bazooka "Look, I'm really sick and tired of people saying that Kobe Bryant is a ball hog. Well the truth of the matter is that there really isn't anyone for Kobe Bryant to pass the ball to."

Bryant says that he gets so frustrated when he looks around during practice and he sees Andrew Bynum reading a Green Lantern comic book, or Pau Gasol talking about the art of bullfighting, or Metta World Peace saying something and no one really understanding what the hell he is saying.

Kobe told Miss Bazooka that he feels that the team has no leadership. He stressed that he has had it and he is going to be meeting with the Lakers owner Jerry Buss within the next few days.

The recently divorced Bryant said that he is going to suggest to Mr. Buss that he be allowed to become the NBA's first modern day player-coach.

Bryant said that he will agree to take on the dual role of player-coach on the condition that he is given a raise from his current salary of $27.8 million a year to $32.8 million a year.

In A Related Story. Kobe says that the rumors about him and Katy Perry being spotted in an intimate embrace beneath The Santa Monica Pier are totally false. He pointed out that he cannot stand females with blue hair.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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