Written by Ossurworld
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Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine revealed after another so-so outing by pitcher Josh Beckett that the former ace suffered from a bad case of wind in the first two innings.

The dastardly Miami Marlins were the culprits, having thrown the pitcher a curve ball.

Both Catcher Jared Saltalamacchia and Valentine agreed that Josh Beckett had warmed up with the dome roof closed. Right before the first inning, the Marlins decided to open the roof.

Swirling winds completely undid all Beckett's preparations. He had to recalculate his entire repertoire in face of the blowing gales.

We presume that Beckett was in the clubhouse after the first inning and working with both his computer and slide ruler to figure out what modifications he had to make to his fastball.

Later in the game, after the mathematical possibilities of probabilities were rehashed and confirmed by the Red Sox computer named Carmine, Beckett was able to continue his brilliant pitching.

Alas, the proverbial horse had escaped from the barn. Beckett to his credit made certain the barn door was firmly closed at that point.

When the manager and catcher must deal with the post-game press conference, you know the wind had blown over the former ace pitcher.

Blowhards often have a tough time when the roof caves in or-- in this case--even when it is opened up.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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