Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 12 June 2012

image for LeBron James Promises That The Miami Heat Will Win The NBA Championship Against The Oklahoma City Thunder Or He'll Donate $2 Million To The State of Oklahoma
LeBron James shown at the age of 2, with his aunt Sonoma Zoltanpuckle-James.

MIAMI - LeBron James told Tango Brisket of Sports Territory Magazine that since defeating the Boston Celtics in game seven of the NBA's Eastern Conference Finals his size 16 shoes have not touched the ground.

He said that he has only managed to sleep a total of seven minutes and he can still hear the roar of the American Airlines Arena crowd chanting his name along with the MVP designation.

James remarked to Mr. Brisket that the only food he has been able to eat since game seven is a hot dog, some cotton candy, a carne guisada and broccoli breakfast taco, and a diet sardine sandwich.

LeBron stated that he has never been more confident than he is now. He even remarked that he is so sure that the Heat will be the 2012 NBA world champions that if they should somehow lose he will personally donate $2 million to the state of Oklahoma.

King James feels that this is the year for the Heat to rise up and burn the team from Oklahoma City.

He vowed that the Heat will make it real hot for the Thunder shooters and noted that the Oklahoma City "Young Guns" are going to be shooting blanks.

Oklahoma City Thunder guard James "Downtown" Harden noted "Well from where I be sittin', I gots ta say dat Mr. LeBron's out-of-control mouth sho do appear ta be writing checks dat his jive ass ain't gonna be able ta cash know what I mean bro."

Harden's fellow teammate Kevin Durant said that if LeBron's humility was ice he wouldn't have enough to fill up a gnat's belly button.

And Russell Westbrook chimed in and pointed out that when he and his "Young Guns" get through with LeBron and the boys there won't be enough heat left over to light up a bumblebee's cigarette.

In Political News. GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney told a crowd gathered in the parking lot of The Rollicking Egg Roll Chinese Diner in Joliet, Illinois that when he is elected president he will not use the fuel-guzzling Air Force One but instead he will travel everywhere by bus.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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