Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 9 June 2012

image for Charlie Sheen Throws A Fit At The NHL Stanley Cup Finals in Los Angeles
Sheen ended up watching the game on this TV set in The Muchas Gracias Pawn Shop next door to the Staples Center.

LOS ANGELES - Well it appears that the old Charlie Sheen has returned from the "Land of The Spaced Out" and has made an appearance at L.A.'s Staples Center.

According to Fuchsia Garfunkel with The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle Sheen had gone to the Staples Center to see a National Hockey League Stanley Cup Finals game between the New Jersey Devils and the Los Angeles Kings.

Garfunkel stated that Sheen who is nicknamed the "Space Cadet," a sobriquet he shares with fellow actor Gary Busey left the Center to go outside and get an In & Out Hot Dog from a vendor who was working the Staples Center parking lot.

When Charlie tried to get back into the arena, he was told by an usher, identified as Keyshontella Jackworth, 29, that he could not return since he had outside food.

Sheen first told the usher that it was just one little old itty bitty hot dog and that it would certainly not be affecting the Staples Center financially.

Miss Jackworth replied that she did not care if it was a single damn M&M he was not getting back in as per Staples Center policy.

Charlie then informed the usher that perhaps she did not realize that he was the famous Charlie Sheen of the hit CBS sit-com Two and A Half Men.

Keyshontella grinned and remarked that she knew exactly who the hell he was.

She then let Sheen know in no uncertain terms that if Los Angeles Laker diehard fans like Jack Nicholson, Penny Marshall, Andy Garcia, and Bruno Tonioli do not impress her than an old, over-the-hill, vodka chuggin' has been who walked away from a salary of $1.8 million a week certainly isn't going to.

Sheen then began hurling several explicit expletives and invigorating invectives at Miss Jackworth.

She immediately reached in her official Staples Center yellow vest jacket and pulled out a taser gun.

The "Space Cadet's" eyes got the size of ping pong balls.

He grinned as he got in her face and told her that there was no way that she was going to use that on him because he was the famous Charlie Sheen and he knows well-known, influential people like Steven Tyler, Whoopi Goldberg, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Betty White, and Metta World Peace.

"Stand back cracker!" Keyshontella hollered out.

Sheen laughed and pointed his finger at her telling her to stop acting like that spoiled witch Naomi Campbell.

"Get back chump!" she yelled.

Charlie told her to get out of his way because he was going in to see the game that he had bet $3,000 on.

Keyshontella took a deep breath and she fired her taser gun PZZZZZT! PZZZZZT!

Sheen instantly fell to the floor flopping around like an Alaskan halibut on a fishing boat deck. He was yelling, and screaming, and hollering like a high-pitched crazed Bulgarian banshee.

After he stopped rolling all over the place, four Staples Center security guards picked him up and carried him outside.

In Political News. Bristol Palin, Todd and Sarah's spoiled semi-cute daughter has reportedly remarked that when she grows up she wants to run for governor of Alaska. But Bristol "The Pistol" emphasized that unlike her ditsy mommy, she won't quit in the middle of her term.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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