Written by Ossurworld
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Monday, 4 June 2012

When Ray Allen speaks, the world listens. After the recent playoff game, he said the series between Miami and Boston was like a game of chess.

Ray then went one move beyond. He said the real strategy hinged on the Queen of each team. Ray said, "They took our queen, and we took theirs."

Good heavens, this came from our Knight in Shining Armor.

We know that LeBron James is some kind of basketball royalty, but we thought he was merely a pretender to the throne. Now we learn that his kingship may be in Queensland.

More appalling by Ray was his amusing dig at his own teammate and closest relation outside the brotherhood.

He referred to Paul Pierce as a queen, not as his twin Knight of the three-pointer.

In all our days, we thought of Paul as a randy bishop, or a bit of a Rook in his younger days. Now we learn that he is the queen of queens.

Perhaps Ray merely misspoke and used his metaphors in a loose fashion, as we all know that Rondo is the Queen of the Celts, and Paul is the Queen Mother.

In terms of fashion, Rondo surely holds court as the one in the more flouncy outfits, as befitting Marie Antoinette of the Guards.

We suppose this makes Kevin Garnett the centerpiece or King of the squares. He certainly knows how to plop himself into the sweet spot and stay there.

Basketball is a game of chess moves, but we feel like we have been checkmated by Ray Allen in the humor department.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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