Written by Dan Cun
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Monday, 4 June 2012

image for Queen Tells Roy - Do It For Me!
English Hooligan Hoping His Team Does It For The Queen And The Rest Of Great Britain

Taking time out from her Diamond Jubilee celebrations, Queen Elizabeth of England has called English Prime Minster Roy Hodgson and told him to "Do one for me!"

It has been 60 years, the same amount of time the Queen has been President of England since the English football (soccer to the rest of the world) team last won anything…and I mean anything.

But, things may change, especially if anticipated, the players dedicate the tournament and their efforts to the Queen and not, as in previous tournaments to the chance of appearing in adverts, mocking their shit penalty taking abilities.

"It's important init?' said her majesty "that the boys like, play their facking hearts out for me, you know, for the facking queen!"
Hodgson has been promised a knighthood, a house in London and free speech therapy if the England team wins the tournament.

However, some pundits have predicted a totally surreal outcome, that England will struggle through the Group stage, drawing their first two games 0-0 before scoring a deflected winner for a 1-0 victory in their final group game, before being knocked out on penalties in the Quarter Finals, after having a man sent off and a goal ruled a no goal, despite it clearly crossing the line or no off side occurring. As if?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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