Written by Ossurworld
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Red Sox

Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Thumb injuries have gone viral on the Boston Red Sox. Who knew that thumb problems are catchy?

Dustin Pedroia could be out as much as a month according to some reports because of his injured thumb. He played for weeks with a problem that blew up with aggravation.

If we know Dustin, he will compound the problem and be out two months by trying to come back too early. Who can forget him taking ground balls on his knees after wrecking his ankle?

Some wags are insisting that the Sox thumbs are down and out this season. Just a few weeks ago Josh Beckett was a traveling carnival show, looking up every thumb specialist in America for an opinion.

Later Red Sox bullpen ace Andrew Bailey injured his thumb in a freak accident and has had surgery. He still is not back, and the bullpen has only recovered moderately while twiddling its proverbial thumbs.

We think these injuries may be coming from players mercilessly thumbing their noses at Bobby Valentine in the dugout.

The other option, far less savory, is that players have been sitting on thumbs on the bench. Ouch. Call in the proctologists.

The Red Sox swept out the medical staff over the off-season, but it looks like someone stuck a thumb in the box of chicken wings and pulled out a ligament.

We worry about the next time the Sox are on the road. We don't want the Red Sox to starting thumbing from town to town.

Not since medieval times have torturing fans with thumbscrews become all the rage.

Make Ossurworld's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 2?

1 8 25 20
53 readers are online right now!

Go to top