Written by Ossurworld
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Tuesday, 29 May 2012

In Groundhog Day, as Bill Murray learned in the classic film, every day you face the same problem.

That vile little rodent may be tormenting the Boston Celtics too. Only now he plays for the Miami Heat.

Nowadays every morning they awake, the Celtics find themselves shutting off the alarm clock and finding out they are the underdogs, not groundhogs.

The Celtics meet the same people every day who ask them the same mundane questions ad nauseum. Yes, we mean you, Members of the Media.

Every day we hear that the Celtics are too old and too beaten up.

If going to Miami with predictions of a sweep dancing in their heads seems familiar to you, it's because the Celtics have faced this daunting task more than once.

The Celtics awake each morning to the same nagging injuries of bone spurs, sprained knees, sore feet, and dislocated elbows about to rear their ugly head.

If it seems like a bad dream that will pass, the Celtics must remember that tomorrow will also be today. Every day is Groundhog Day for the Celtics against Miami Heat.

Bettors and aficionados of the NBA will pick the Celtics to be losers again. They will be a day older and will not be getting any younger. The best they can hope for is a holding pattern.

There is always a chance the groundhog Heat will see their shadows and run back into the hole where they usually hibernate.

In the face of all fairy tale endings, we hereby warn the Celtics to be careful what you wish for. That'll be the day indeed.

The dream matchup of facing the dastardly D-Wade and Lebron, media darlings of money shakers and bum kissers, is upon us again and again, like we have a stuck rewind button on the remote.

Yes, LeBron and D-Wade, the remnants of a wannabe Big Three, are preparing the electric chair for their guests. That never changes.

Curmudgeons across the world are uniting against the overly saccharine, undeserving, overblown Miami Heat that are more bombastic than any hurricane in Florida.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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