Written by Ossurworld
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Friday, 25 May 2012

Dwyane Wade wears pink hot pants, but not short shorts. He wants to change the name of his team from Miami Heat to Miami Hot Pink.

Had he played with Larry and Magic, he would have shown all the allure and mystique to make him part of the John Travolta "Stayin' Alive" tradition.

As LeBron James astutely observed his teammate looked like Eddie Murphy in the 1980s. As we recall, Murphy did not have such hubris back then.

Mr. Blackwell would never have faulted him after all. If D-Wade raided his closet, then his closet door should be pulled fully open.

According to some wags, D-Wade's pink pants have dropped his Facebook account stock to F-Wade. We want to see if he wore pink knee stockings under the pants.

He would be Heller in Pink Tights.

Those who throw rocks at Wade's fashion faux pas would do well to remember not to throw pearls before swine.

Though he was not photographed with matching man purse, some mavens of haute couture noted that he may have left this accessory back in his VW minivan with the psychedelic flowers painted on the sides.

Wade did wear finger sleeves, the accessory of choice for basketball players with cold fingers. The true value of the finger sleeve is to prevent finger curl. Wearing pink nail polish would be considered excessive in some circles.

Whether Wade's attempt at jumping ahead of the curve actually results in a flurry of young men with pink feather boas rushing off to the gym we cannot predict just yet.

Media commentators not known for spending more than a trifle on wardrobe cannot fathom whether this outfit was first seen on television shows Hullabaloo or Shindig in 1965.

We doubt that Dwyane is making any political statements. After all, this man likely thinks 'Roe versus Wade' are two options on how to cross a river.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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