Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 24 May 2012

image for Joey Barton Gets Extra Ban For Being Joey Barton
Barton: a bit temper/mental

Joey Barton, the QPR captain, who was dismissed from the field of play during the last game of the season against eventual champions Manchester City, has been found guilty of two counts of violent conduct by the FA, and has been banned for 12 matches.

He has also received a further 2-match ban for being Joey Barton.

Speaking from the FA's headquarters, an FA spokesman said:

"Joey Barton was way out of line at Man City, and he knows it. Aside from that, however, we felt it appropriate that he should be prevented from playing for a further two games merely because he is who he is - the aforementioned, notorious Joey Barton."

When told of the news, the temperamental QPR skipper kicked a door down and smashed a bottle over a schoolgirl's head, then kneed his mum in the back before volleying a dog through a plate-glass window of a newsagents near his home.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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