Written by Ossurworld
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Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Red Sox slugger David Ortiz has a new theme song.

"R-E-S-P-E-C-T." Spell it out, or better yet: sing it, Aretha.

If you hear the latest Karaoke song of the Boston team, it is David Ortiz of the Red Sox singing along with Aretha Franklin.

We love it when Big Papi keeps saying, "Sock it to me, sock it to me, baby."

Those Sox apparently have socked it to him once to often. He insists that the Front Office and media of Boston don't have any, let alone enough, respect for the big DH.

He is sick and tired of it. He cannot do anything right, according to his perspective from the dugout.

"Just a little bit, just a little bit," is all he wants.

As he swings for the fences, loses twenty pounds, and still hits those little balls out of the park, we hear him: "Re, re, re...'spect." Yes, he can hardly get the word out: "RE-spect."

King John Henry VIII, owner of said Sox, didn't sock it to him, but gave him the biggest DH contract in baseball.

The media gave him a clear pass when it came to chicken wings and beer, but for years Ortiz never met a donut hole he didn't want to taste.

You may not confuse Aretha and Papi singing, "Respect," but they should not be confused even if their measurements remain the same.

If anyone has shown David Ortiz a lack of respect over the years, we must reluctantly raise our metaphoric hand. We are truly sorry, Big Papi, but we didn't get a raise to pinch hit like you.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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