Written by mikewadestr
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Tuesday, 22 May 2012

image for Curling Championship Throws a Major Wrench into Staples Center NBA and NHL playoffs
Great! 10 minutes on the ice and now we have to watch curling for an hour!

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

The NBA basketball lockout was in its 5 week and going nowhere. The CEO's of the L.A. Arena Company which owns Staples Center were visionalizing losing .0005 percent of their wealth, so to hedge their loses they decided to make a deal with the United States Curling League's L.A. Slibbers. The deal would allow the Slibbers to get choice slots in Staple Center scheduling if they made it to the USCL's championship.

The Slibbers really fucking sucked so the 200 dollars the Slibbers put up was pretty much going into the bank of the CEO's of Arena Company. At least so they thought.

Boy, were there a lot of long faces at the L.A. Arena Company's board meeting last week when the Slibbers beat the Missouri Fibbers to advance to the USCL's finals where they will play the Vancouver Dirty Bibbers. Amazingly, not one team supports any of the Women's Libbers, which is why the entire league is on the brink of being put on a defibrillator.

Now that the NBA Los Angeles Lakers and NHL Los Angeles Kings happen to be sharing Staples Center, L.A. Arena Company has to honor their contract with the L.A. Slibbers.

"What we are going to do is a few things", stated Arena Company spokesman, Sally Sled. "We realize the curling final is the best of 1001 games that is to be held over 7 days. What we will do it to squeeze both the Kings and Lakers between the game breaks. We realize the Kings won't have a problem with this as much as the Lakers who will be stuck playing on ice, but, haven't the Lakers been playing on ice all year anyway?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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