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Sunday, 20 May 2012

image for Chelsea to offer motivational courses to public after Champions League win
You Too Can Succeed Like Chelsea Football Club!

Following their Champions League Final win on penalties v Bayern Munich, Chelsea general manager Bruce Buck has announced that they are throwing open the doors of Stamford Bridge during the summer break to run motivational courses.

"If we can succeed anyone can" said Buck at a press conference to launch the 2 day seminar 'How To Succeed At Something Eventually Despite Nearly Failing'. When pressed further he explained.

"Look at Chelsea earlier in the season. What a bunch of misfits! We were managed by a Portu-geezer barely out of short trousers, captained by an alleged racist who inadvertently caused the England coach to resign months before a major tournament he spent two years preparing for, we also had a fat ageing midfielder whinging he wasn't in the side, an African striker who spends more time rolling around on the floor, and a Spanish striker who took a year long siesta from actually doing his job properly. Plus a dipstick at left-back who cheated on the second sexiest women in the world" (*)

"Then we brought in a peanut headed Italian - sacked by his previous team in the lower reaches of the division - as interim manager, and we haven't looked back".

After relieving Andre Villas-Boas of his duties in March, Chelsea have beaten Napoli, Barcelona and Bayern Munich to win the Champions League, and Tottenham and Liverpool to win the FA Cup. Now, with the forthcoming change in financial rules being adopted by UEFA, Chelsea are looking for additional income revenues outside of matchday sales.

The course will run every weekend during the close season and cost only £9,975. Discounts for students and unemployed (football managers)
Buffet lunch provided.

* Source: FHM Sexiest Women In The World List 2012.

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