Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 19 May 2012

image for Kenny Dalglish For Hull City?
Violet Cunliffe leaves the KC earlier

Kenny Dalglish, the man sacked from the Liverpool manager's position last week, could be set to gain a quick return into football after having been invited for talks with Championship side Hull City, it has been claimed.

I claimed it, so I should know.

The weird claim is the latest in a long line of weird claims by me, although not as weird as the one where I claimed that Manchester United were favourites for relegation, but anyway.

Dalglish, who led the Reds to an FA Cup win over Chelsea earlier this month, was given his marching orders from Anfield after they finished in a disappointing eighth position in the Premier League, crucially behind city rivals Everton, and level on points with Fulham (laughs).

Hull sacked Nick Barmby earlier this month after they found out he was still only 16 years of age.

Applications for the empty manager's seat at the KC have been few are far between, and the only other known candidate is 81-year-old Violet Cunliffe, a local woman who claims she "loves the Tigers to bits".

Interviewed after she'd had a nice, warm bath last night, Cunliffe told us:

"Kenny Dalglish? The fans wouldn't like that! He's a stingy little Scottish cunt, intee? Ah could do better wi me eyes shut! Anyow, luv. Ah av to dash - am off to bingo!"

Dalglish, whose untimely demise was prophetically reported by me more than a month ago here made some kind of comment, but nobody could understand it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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