Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 17 May 2012

image for Boxing Champ Manny Pacquiao's Anti-Gay Marriage Remarks Result In His Getting Banned From Disneyland
A pair of used boxing gloves that Manny Pacquiao gave to Bristol "The Pistol" Palin.

LOS ANGELES - Manny "Pac-Man" Pacquiao, who has held boxing titles in eight different boxing weight divisions has just stuck his gloved hand in his mouth.

Pacquiao, a 33-year-old Filipino, in an interview with Tango Brisket of Sports Territory Magazine, stated that he is staunchly against gay marriage.

Brisket, trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, asked him if he was 100 percent sure. The 5-foot-6-inch pugilist, who in person looks closer to being 5-foot-1-inch nodded his head as he replied "Jes, I am chewer" (yes, I am sure).

The boxer, who is a member of the House of Representatives in the Philippines, as well as being an honorary member of The Bamboo Choppers of Manila Union Local #89037, stated in broken English, "I beleaf dat dee junion of marriage chood be between two peoples or two persons who look different down dare in dee crotch place."

After Pacquiao's interview went national there was a public outcry, mostly from the Left Coast.

Immediately representatives of Disneyland issued a statement stating that Mr. Pacquiao would be permanently banned from setting foot on the world famous amusement park.

The La Brea Tar Pitts issued a similar notice adding that if the homophobic boxer is caught on the La Brea Tar Pitts grounds he will be arrested and fined up to $9,800.

And the director of security at the Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo in Tarzana issued a directive that if Manny Piccadilly (sic) is caught on the petting zoo premises he will be arrested and the petting zoo will hire famed California attorney Ginger Allred to see that he is deported back to his native Philippines.

In a Related Story. The rumor that Clay Aiken and Ellen DeGeneres regularly exchange clothes has been proven to be totally false. Clay actually exchanges clothes with former 'NSYNC boy band member Lance Bass.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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