Ex-Liverpool manager, Kenny Daiglish, has been offered a helping hand by his main adversary, Sir Alex Ferguson, who felt sorry for him. Kenny is to start his new job as Sir Alex's personal translator in the coming season and was overwhelmed by Sir Alex's offer.
The reason why Daiglish was chosen is easy, they both come from Glasgow, but Kenny can speak reasonably understandable English and Sir Alex still can't. Now he's reached the ripe old age of 70 he feels his command of the English language (which was never brilliant) is gradually getting worse so he hired Kenny to translate all of the drivel that comes out of his mouth into a language that the world can understand!
Recently Sir Alex was in Dortmund where he met Japanese star player, Shinji Kagawa, who speaks perfect Oxford English; Sir Alex needed a translator to understand him! Kenny's other duties are pushing Sir Alex in his wheelchair when the cameras are not looking, putting on his bib at feeding time, feeding him and changing his incontinence nappies if he get's too excited when United fail to stop the opposition scoring with 3 minutes to go.
His salary will be slightly less than the other United ex-Scouser, in fact what Rooney earns in a week, Kenny will earn in a year; after all he is Ex-Liverpool!