Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 13 May 2012

image for Washington Nationals Rookie Bryce "Batman" Harper Angrily Hits Himself With His Own Bat - Gets 10 Stitches
Bryce "Batman" Harper's baseball glove which he reportedly once bit after making an error.

CINCINNATI - It appears by all accounts that Washington Nationals rookie baseball player Bryce Harper is 19 going on 9.

The Nationals rookie after going 0 for 5 went into the team dugout and angrily slammed his bat against the dugout wall. The bat bounced back and hit him on his temple above his left eye.

"Batman" Bryce as Sports Balls Illustrated Weekly reporter Rufus Reno has nicknamed him ended up having to get 10 stitches.

His manager Davey Johnson reportedly shook his head and remarked that he's just glad that Harper didn't hold his breath and turn blue in a temperamental fit of anger.

An unidentified teammate stated that Johnson needs to put "Batman" in Time Out time like parents and day care teachers do with spoiled little kids.

Another player suggested that manager Johnson take away Bryce's cell phone so that he can't play Angry Birds for at least three days.

Reno asked Harper about the bat incident. He replied that the situation had been blown way out of proportion. He then pointed out that what really happened was that as he was putting the baseball bat away he was viciously attacked by a wayward woodpecker.

Johnson commented that he is not buying that story and said that if "Batman" ever has a temperamental explosion like that again he may just find himself playing for the minor league Duluth Doodlebugs.

Reno said that he saw Harper shortly after the incident happened and noted that he looked like a WWF wrestler who had just gotten hit with a folding chair.

SIDENOTE: Davey Johnson pointed out that his team won the game beating the Cincinnati Reds 7 to 3. He grinned as he said that he is just happy that his team did not lose otherwise "Batman" Harper may have jumped off Cincinnati's C & O Railroad Bridge.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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