Written by Jaggedone
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Friday, 11 May 2012

image for Sir Alex Ferguson converts to Catholicism, it's his last hope, Amen!
He used to be a Man U fan but now he prefers the Blue side of town, they pay more!

Sir Alex Ferguson has been dropping to his knees over the last few days hoping that and interventionist god would hear his prayers for Sunday. SAF, used to be a staunch Glaswegian protestant, but their god could not help so he swapped over to the Catholic version and is hoping that he can provide more "holy assistance".

In other words, send bolts of lightning and thunder over the Manchester City stadium, disrupt their procession to the title, blind Joe Hart temporarily when QPR mount one of their feeble attacks or even allow Joey Barton to pinch Vincent Kompany's bum when he goes up for one of his destructive headers, a "hand of God" in other words!

Chicharito has also joined SAF in church teaching him how to pray the Catholic way and they have even annointed a very suspicious, godless, Wayne Rooney with "holy water", the alcohol free version.

Man Utd have no chance without godly intervention because they threw it all away against a sticky bunch of Scouse Heathens called The Toffees. So SAF's only hope is praying that his conversion to the Vatican will provide his team with the necessary faith and destroy Man City with the appropriate "fiery bolts from Rome!"

There is but one problem, Senori Mancini also believes in the same God and he has been a devoted Catholic for slightly longer so that makes him a very hot favourite!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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