Written by Ossurworld
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Topics: Rajon Rondo

Friday, 11 May 2012

The best way to force Rajon Rondo to become a whirling dervish on the court is to make all the Atlanta Hawk players come out onto the court while holding video cameras.

The Celtics looked sluggish and ready to be sent to the darkroom with a fistful of negatives. Then, Kevin Garnett started clicking the Rondo cam.

When Celtics told Rondo that he was being filmed secretly and without his permission by iPhones by the Atlanta media, he developed a warrior game image.

Rondo went on a binge, shooting up a couple of rolls of film out of anger.

That flash you saw during the photo op may seem to come from Rondo's eyes, but nine times out of ten it's KG motivated by the opposing team owner.

With Avery Bradley suffering shoulder issues, Ray Allen with bone spurs, Paul Pierce with knee problems, Doc found a new way to motivate his mercurial star Rondo. And, he may ask him to pose for Animal Crackers again in the next series.

Doc Rivers led the crowd in a chant, "Smile! You're on Candid Camera!" to see if that causes flames to pour out of Rondo's nostrils.

As we recall, actress Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard B fretted egregiously about all those cameras waiting on her. It took a while, but she finally mustered up the energy to say, "I'm ready for my close-up now, Mr. DeMille."

Rondo has spent hours in the dressing room, fretting before the mirror before the big game. Would he be ready for his close-up?

We know he loves his close-up, but we also remember with a bit of queasiness that Norma Desmond was carted off to the looney bin as she made her way into the bright lights.

Nobody dared to ask Rondo to say, "Cheese," during halftime unless they want to be the next wheel of Swiss cheese. You never know what f-stop Rondo will call for.

When Rondo poses for the centerfold for Playgirl, we will know that his camera shy personality has been cured. When his mug shot appears at the Post Office, we will know the playoffs are over.

In the meantime, Rajon has blown up the wallet-size snapshot of Josh Smith and photo-shopped the rest of the Atlanta Hawks.

Next f-stop is Philadelphia.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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