Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Wednesday, 9 May 2012

image for Liverpool Stuff Chelsea - But What's With The Kids?
Stuffed 4-1.

Households throughout the UK were filled with the sounds of people vomiting last night as Liverpool gained some respect at the end of a difficult season by stuffing their FA Cup nemesis.

The scousers roused themselves from Saturday's final defeat to take Chelsea apart 4-1 and many neutrals around the country applauded the performance, especially that of striker Andy Carroll who seems to have been rejuvenated in the last two games.

But all goodwill evaporated as the Reds prepared for their lap of honour to mark the last home game of the season.

"I had to go and throw up," said viewer Clark Gable, of Nantwich, who says he's no relation to the Hollywood legend of the same name.

"The camera went to the touchline and there's all these players with their WAGS and their bloody offspring - toddlers and baffled-looking new-born babes! Like no-one else has ever had a baby!

"Kind of summed up Liverpool's season, didn't it? If they'd concentrated on being more bloody potent on the pitch than in the sack there might have been some better results."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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