Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 7 May 2012

image for Wayne Rooney named new horse after Pippa Middleton 'before realising it was a colt not a filly'
Facially Pippy is more Alex Ferguson than Coleen-the-wife

Manchester - "Saw its backside, like, and had to call it Pippy," was the lame explanation ahead of the two year-old's debut at Chester racecourse on Wednesday.

The Australian Exceed And Excel-sired colt out of US mare Night Shift was snapped up by Wayne Rooney for £63,600.

A passing resemblance to Pippa Middleton's arse caught the Man U striker's eye at a bloodstock auction shortly after Christmas.

But it was a full week before he twigged he'd bagged a colt and not a filly.

A surreptitious glance at Pippy's rear quarters by QM-NewsCorpse stringers confirms the sleek and glossy hind quarters look somewhat androgynous.

But one swish of its chestnut tail reveals some pretty impressive wedding tackle that's set to carry on growing for at least a year ahead of next year's Epsom Derby tilt.

This Wednesday the colt takes on thirteen rivals at Chester's opener the Lily Agnes Stakes with jockey Jamie Spencer set to sport Wayne and Coleen's pink and white silks.

Fellow Man U striker Michael Owen, co-owner with the Rooneys of the Manor House Team's runner, sees their syndicate sponsor the 2.15 race which bullish trainer Tom Dascombe fancies for a win.

Their two other hopefuls Switcharooney and Tomway are entered in all the major races for two year-olds including several at this year's Royal Ascot.

At 33/1 Pippy's Chester debut looks like a steal.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 3?

6 11 15 12

Go to top