Written by Jaggedone
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Wednesday, 2 May 2012

image for Rooney throws left hook at Phil Jones; United's only shot on target Monday evening!
Rooney threw United's only shot on target Monday; a left hook on Phil Jones's nose alias Stan!

Exclusive news has just seeped out of the very hot and steamy Man United dressing room after Monday's toothless performance against mayor rivals Man City.

There was a definite "punch up" between trained boxer and United super-Scouse, Wayne Rooney, and Stan Laurel look alike, Phil Jones. Rooney, frustrated the whole match, boiled over as United players entered the dressing room; he made a bee-line for Chicharito who has been embarrassing Wayne all season by dropping to his knees before kick off, but then he realised he didn't even play! So he turned to Stan Laurel look-alike Jones, also Wayne's favourite comedy actor and thumped his lights out with a left hook because of his pathetic performance; it was United's only shot on target all evening!

Jones stood there scratching his head and weeping while Rooney stormed out of Manchester in his Ferrari with his customized Number plates: Everton4ever (too true).

The altercation was only leaked today after Sir Alex demanded that Rooney apologise to his favourite prodigal son, Jones, better known as Stan in the dressing room. Rooney refused and also refuses to play again unless Ferguson buys some real quality players and was last seen booking a flight to Argentina where he will sulk in Carloz Tevez's luxury villa until the third match of England's Euro 2012 campaign starts and finishes right there!

We'll keep you updated...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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