Written by Karen Fish
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Topics: Baseball

Saturday, 28 April 2012

image for Delmon Young Traded to Tel Aviv Lightning for Rabbi Akiva

Today the defending AL Central Division Champion Detroit Tigers announced that they have traded outfielder Delmon Young to the Tel Aviv Lightning for Rabbi Akiva. Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad vowed to wipe the Israel Baseball League off the face of the earth, except for Delmon Young who he congratulated on his courage to speak out against the Zionist infidels.

Rabbi Akiva was a shepherd with a great arm who hit .329 with 41 home runs last year for the Tel Aviv Lightning of the Israel Baseball League. Last night at 2.30 am Delmon Young was standing outside the New York Hilton when a beggar wearing a Star of David around his neck and a yarmulke on his head approached a group of four men from Chicago. The beggar left with his seeing eye dog and his tin cup.

At this point the four Chicago tourists and Delmon Young got into a heated argument in which Delmon Young shouted at them "You (bad word) Jews!" Delmon Young 6'4" and 240 pounds then tackled one of the alleged Jews to the ground, repeatedly pounding his head into the curb. Due to a plate in his head the man only suffered minor scratches to his elbows.

Delmon Young was arrested and taken to the hospital because he was wasted. Delmon Young was charged with aggravated harassment, a hate crime carrying a term of one year in jail. He was charged with a hate crime because of a belief and perception regarding religion and religious practice.

Delmon Young released a statement: "I sincerely regret what happened last night. I apologize to everyone I affected, the Ilitch family, the Detroit Tigers' organization, my teammates, my family and the great Tigers fans that have supported me since day one. I take this matter very seriously, and assure everyone that I will do everything I can to improve myself as a person and player, with the Tel Aviv Lightning."

Human beings share 99% the same DNA with apes. Every one of us instinctively has an inner racist - just check the man made Holy Bibles of Christianity, Islam and Judaism which command believers to kill all non believers. Alcohol is known to release our inhibitions. President George W. Bush publicly declared a Crusade against Islam in 2003 massacring a million Iraqi and Afghan Muslims and he is the celebrated owner of the Texas Rangers feted at Mitt Romney galas, and Delmon Young is facing a year in jail for calling someone a Jew, in New York. Jesus Christ the Jewish born Rabbi and Messiah of Christianity and Islam famously said "Let he who is without prejudice throw out the first pitch."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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