Written by Jaggedone
Print this

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

image for Torres reveals secret behind his majestic goal-scoring talent!
Thank "Dios" De Matteo told Torres what a goal is; it could have been £50 million down the drain!

£50 million super-buy, Chelsea's Fernando Torres, has at last come clean about the secrets behind his sensational goal-scoring ability which he crowned last night with the late equaliser against the "almighty" FC Barcelona.

It seems that ex-trainers Ancelotti & Portuguese pretender to "The Special One's" crown, Andre Villa-Boas forgot to tell Fernando the secret behind scoring goals. Only new trainer, Roberto Di Matteo, realised why his super goal-machine was always slightly off-target until last night before the match in Barcelona and here is what Roberto told Fernando:

Roberto; "Fernando, tu no score goals, porque?" Fernando "Yo no se, muy difficil, que is a goal?" Roberto; "Un gol is the thing with dos white posts, uno cross-bar et uno net at the back, si, comprendes?" Fernando; "Oh Roberto muchas gracias yo penso that blanco sticks were only for the blind, ahora yo comprendo todo!"

The Peseta dropped in Fernando's head quicker than the Euro fell to its knees and at last he saw the light (even if he is blind). And the result was for the whole world to see, albeit, he did hesitate before popping the ball into the Barcelona net just to make sure that what Roberto told him was the truth! Muy Bien for Chelsea fans and Fernando's owner, Abramovich who thought he'd thrown £50 million quid down a Barcelona drain!

Make Jaggedone's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 2?

2 10 11 15
61 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more