Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 25 April 2012

image for Michael Jordan Owner of The Charlotte Bobcats Who Are (5-57) Announces That He Will Not Be Renaming The Team The Kitty Cats
Michael Jordan estimates that his NBA official basketball collection numbers somewhere around 953 basketballs.

CHARLOTTE, North Carolina - Michael Jordan, the owner of the Charlotte Bobcats, who have only won 7 games and lost 57 says that he wants to dispel some rumors that are going around the NBA locker rooms.

First of all the wants it known that he is not planning on renaming the Bobcats the Kitty Cats. He did state that the thought did cross his mind but he decided that the name change would be too expensive.

Secondly he wants it known that he is not considering moving the team to Tijuana, Mexico. He pointed out that he recently spoke to Tijuana Mayor Bobo De La Hacienda and the mayor informed him that he was not interested in the Bobcats but added that he would consider having a much better team like say the Chicago Bulls, The Miami Heat, or The Los Angeles Lakers relocate to his border town.

Jordan did admit that just as Sherwood Frisbee with Sports Balls Illustrated Weekly had written, in a recent article, two Bobcat players whom he identified as Kemba Walker (#1) and Jamario Moon (#9) have been playing since March while wearing ski masks in order to try and hide their identities.

Coach Paul Silas at first asked that Jordan fine both players but Jordan refused saying that it was their constitutional right to wear a ski mask while either sitting on the bench or playing on the court.

FOOTNOTE: Team owner Michael Jackson did express to Mr. Frisbee that he had offered to trade his entire bench to the Dallas Mavericks in return for super star Dirk Nowitzki. Mavs owner Mark Cuban told Jordan that he would have to also include $500 million in cash, lots of choice property in downtown Charlotte, and at least five North Carolina tobacco farms.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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