Barcelona have warned Chelsea's D.Drogba not to play-act, dive, roll all over the ground after being hit with a feather, roll his eye-balls at the cameras, waste time or generally act like Hugh Grant; terrible!
Didier, refutes all of the claims that he is a "frustrated ballet dancer" because he is already taking lessons to become one after he's had enough of the Blues.
He has been practising like a man possessed because he has been offered the role of the "Bad Swan" in Swan Lake as soon as he hangs up his boots (difficult standing on your toes whilst ballet dancing with footy boots).
The Ballet company at the Royal Ballet in London have also ordered a special pair of tight tights for Didier just in case it is true what they say about African men; nudge, nudge wink, wink!
But first of all there's Barcelona business to take care of and Chelsea with Didier have decided to build the Berlin Wall around their penalty area in Camp Nou tonight; at least they'll have a chance then. If not they've promised to unleash their 50 million pound secret weapon, who once played for Madrid (the other ones) and are sure he will cause the Barcelona defence to laugh so much that they might even score and laugh all the way to the final!!!