Written by Ossurworld
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Monday, 23 April 2012

If Delonte West gives you the "willies", you are no longer alone.

The most peculiar player in the NBA who has done a couple of stints with the Boston Celtics now makes his home in Dallas with the Mavericks.

When he played for the Celtics, Rajon Rondo seemed to cringe whenever he had to sit next to West on the bench during the game.
He seemed like a leaf in a storm, leaning as far away from the wild wet West.

We now understand that Rondo feared the fickle finger of Delonte West.

This past week Mr. West was fined for giving everyone who watched the highlight reel a bad case of the heebie-jeebies.

During one momentary lapse in his judgment, West stuck a wet index finger into the ear canal of his opponent. It was right out of the World Wrestling handbook for disgusting actions.

Many felt the act was comparable to a love tap. Others felt it was creepy and vile.

Those who think Delonte West's tattoos have gone beyond good taste now realize he thinks his finger tastes even worse.

A Wet Willie is a childish prank in which a moist pinky is inserted into the ear of a sleeping victim. This usually causes either revulsion or sexual arousal.

A recent Taco Bell commercial prominently featured the driver of a car on a long road trip sticking his finger into the ear of his sleeping pal passenger in the adjoining seat.

Since original ideas may be an endangered notion in the NBA, we suspect Delonte saw the commercial that has played ad nauseum.
It looked like harmless fun between boyfriends.

We are not quite sure of West's intentions in this regard. The victim was Gordon Howard of the Utah Jazz, and no word has yet emerged on whether Howard was tested for an STD after the game.

When you play ball with Delonte, never ask for whom the whistle blows. Just stick a finger in the air and listen for the sound of a fingertip stuck in your ear.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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