Mitt Romney, Red Sox Nation turns its lonely eyes to you. We know where you have gone-out looking for a Republican Vice Presidential candidate. What a thankless job.
Stop! A crisis of international proportions needs your attention!
The Red Sox are a mess. The clubhouse is in turmoil. We need you to do the important work of the Nation. Forget the idea of being President of the United States, no matter how worthy the goal is.
The country needs you to manage the Boston Red Sox.
The Bobby Valentine experiment has become a fiasco.
We see you several times each year at Fenway Park, sitting over in the third base box seats, watching intently. We know you are more than a fan. You are an astute observer.
This Patriots Day in Boston, you took a day off from your busy campaign schedule to return to your home state of Massachusetts to go where all good Bostonians go in pilgrimage. You went to Fenway Park on the eve of the centenary.
Now, you must return-not as a devotee of good management and business-but as the savior of a club suffering the slings and arrows of chicken wings and beer, of mental fatigue and emotional distress.
You once saved the Olympics-and now we need you to save the Red Sox. You once governed the ungovernable and insane state of Massachusetts. The Red Sox are the biggest challenge of your career.
Please, Mitt, answer the higher calling. Take over the Red Sox.
If you are unable to take over the Red Sox, could you do the next best thing? Please make Bobby Valentine your Vice President-or appoint him your ambassador to Pakistan. We aren't fussy.
Just get Bobby V out of the Fenway Park dugout.