Written by radiogagger
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Tuesday, 17 April 2012

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The worlds fastest snooker star will play the worlds slowest in the first round of the World Snooker Championship this saturday at the Crucible in Sheffield.

Dutch Rocket Ronnie O'Hareman and Peter 'Tortoise' Elbow will cue off at 10am on Saturday morning in the tournaments opening game.

A snooker insider told the sloof "These two players are 'chalk and cheese'. I'm sure it is no coincidence that this encounter has been put on first. But if the tortoise is at the table it could still go on until the early hours of Wednesday"

The two former World Champions last clashed at the Crucible in 2005 when the match was heading towards 2006 until O'Hareman was carried out on a stretcher citing 'hallucinations'.

The draw is good news for merchandisers. Pillows are often a top seller at Elbow matches and WSA (World Snooker Association) have produced their own branded pillows to compete with unofficial sellers in Crucible Square.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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