Written by Nick Hobbs
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Saturday, 14 April 2012

image for Horse Wins Grand National
Horse, earlier today.

The 2012 Grand National was won by a horse, we can sensationally reveal, in a nail biting race which went right to the finish line. The horse, a grey one, came first over forty other horses to win the world renowned National Hunt handicap steeplechase.

The horses run a four mile course, jumping thirty fences as they go, but many don't make it round.

Many riders fell off this year, making them not really that good so they didn't deserve to win anyway, and others just gave up. Probably because they were scared of the jumps.

In all only about fifteen or so horses finished, but the grey one beat a brown one by a whisker at the post, to claim victory.

Sadly two innocent horses were destroyed in the making of this race, calling in to question the safety precautions adhered to in British racing.

Many people lost money in Britain's betting shops, as the odds for the grey winner were 33-1, which in the complex terms of betting means it didn't stand a bloody chance. How wrong were they? (very wrong, it won!)

The horse, a four legged beast with a long face, is only the third grey horse to have won in the races history.

Third place went to a black horse (or it may have been brown) but interestingly it had a girl riding it, which is quite unusual, as men are usually pilots on race horses. This is the highest place a girl has ever come in the National ever.

Unless you include the thirteen mares that have won it previously.

NH Sports News: We're here with the facts.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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