A man spotted wielding scaffolding poles, lumps of concrete and car doors is the surprise selection for Team GB this summer.
Renton Frewshire was apprehended by police in Hackney last summer after turning over their car and spinning it around. However on reviewing CCTV, amateur athlete PC Barndoors saw potential in the young maverick.
"Crime isn't just about punishment" he said. "We need to understand the causes of crime. In Renton's case it was a road sign through my windscreen that got him nicked."
Nevertheless, PC Barndoors passed the footage to his local athletic club, and training started in earnest.
"Renton didn't feel comfortable with the javelin or shot-putt at first so we let him throw microwaves and skirting boards until he adjusted."
Team GB said it welcomes athletes from all backgrounds but warned riots, vandalism or anarchy would not be permitted in the Olympic village before 6pm.