A delegation of Liverpool FC officials arrived at the Etihad Stadium today bearing a massive 'thanks' for the players and staff of Manchester City.
In what was no less than a meeting of the 'massives' the Liverpool delegation expressed their eternal gratitude to Manchester City, for being even crapper, and a bigger laughing stock than Liverpool themselves.
"We have been shite this season," Liverpool delegate, Neville Monster commented. "And to be honest wid youse, we'd have been a national laughing stock were it not for the Brian Rixian farce that they've been having here. Even our lads are laughing at City. That Balotelli bloke makes up for everything they've ever said about Andy Carroll and King Klutz Kenny. We're just keeping our heads down. Thank God none of our lads came out and said they hoped Man United would keep winning. Foot in the gob statement or what lar?"
City boss, Roberto Chippolata, expressed his gratitude to the Scouse delegation, although he did admit that he could never be quite sure if they were taking the piss or not.
As a precautionary measure, City won't be putting the bins out until the Scousers have gone home.
"We've still got it all to play for," Kenneth Relief told reporters. "As long as it's mathematically possible we'll fight to our dying breath to secure that eighth place spot. And we'll probably put in an offer for Crouchy and Heskey in the summer. That ought to sort it."
We looked for Roberto Chippolata for a response to that earth shattering development, but were told that he'd just this instant set off for the cinema to see Titanic in 3D and Super Mariovision.
At the Trafford Centre.
More as we get it.