NEW YORK CITY - The sports magazine Sports Balls Illustrated Weekly has just released the results of their most recent NFL Internet Football Poll.
Senior reporter Rufus Reno stated that his publication conducted the football poll and that they received an astoundingly astonishing total of 2,981,713 entries.
Reno stated that votes were cast from every state in the union and including the countries of Mexico, Iceland, Cambodia, Wales, Lower Zamgola, and Liechtenstein.
The poll asked the readers if they felt that the New Orleans Saints, in lieu of all of the bad publicity regarding the so called "bounties on opposing players," needed to change their ironic team name of Saints.
Reno who participated as the official poll executive director noted that 2,981,206 of the poll respondents stated that yes the New Orleans Saints most definitely need to change their name which has turned into an embarrassing joke.
Rufus Reno has provided some verbatim comments from several of the poll participants:
- Preston P. Hayneedle of Buffalo Gap, Texas - I think that the team needs to change their name from Saints to the much more appropriate Bountyhunters.
- Yoyodell "Bling Bling" Cooterbrick of Bogalusa, Louisiana - I say hey, exactly when da hell did da Nawlins coaches suddenly think dat dey be in da WWF? (World Wrestling Federation).
- Mr. and Mrs. DeBray Bitterbee of Kenosha, Wisconsin - We are long time Saints fans but we want NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell to send a message to all of the NFL team owners, coaches, and players. We strongly suggest that the Saints be relocated to East Los Angeles. The residents of East L.A. do not like to see NFL players resorting to cheating by purposely hurting opposing players and throwing a damn monkey wrench into the game betting system.
STORY FOOTNOTE: Some of the other names that poll participants suggested as names to replace the Saints are; Desperadoes, Voodoo Devils, Bayou Bandits, Cajun Chumps, and The Cheatin' Saints.