Written by Ossurworld
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Thursday, 5 April 2012

Whether Paul Pierce will turn out to be the hero of the game, this satiric profile will show.

Paul Pierce admits the game is not scripted.

After throwing up a clanker with seconds left in a chance to beat the San Antonio Spurs, Celtic Paul Pierce revealed during a post-game interview that Hollywood scripts and storybook endings to the Celtics home game never made it past the pitch stage. So, he pitched up a brick.

The script called for the captain to win the game in the final seconds. Unfortunately, they didn't reshoot the ending.

Actually, the script called for the kid off the bench to win the game. But, Avery Bradley was not given his shot.

The alternate script called for the grizzled veteran to score the game winner. But, Kevin Garnett was not covering his match-mate Tim Duncan.

The rewritten script called for the injured three-point leader in history to toss up the winning shot. But, the cortisone shot seemed to be wearing off Ray Allen.

As often happens in storybook tales, the remake of the game will feature the controversial young hotshot that no one respects hitting the jumper to win the game. Alas, Rondo only performs on Sunday matinees.

When Paul Pierce provided his post-game lecture on the rules of literature, we felt he had somehow slighted the man with the little court-board and magic marker. No, not Charles Dickens.

Doc Rivers is known in the business of basketball as the "Sir Charles" Dickens of creative play-making.

Alas, when he figured out during the timeout how to handle the Spurs in this game, Doc admitted: "I am born-yesterday," sounding the lament of David Copperfield.

We speak of the literary character, not the guy who creates illusions and magical endings.

Next time we see disgraced NBA ref Tim Donaghy, we'll remind him that games are not scripted.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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