Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 1 April 2012

image for Dalglish For The Chop Following April Fool's Day Debacle
Aaaarrrrggggh!

Insiders today reported that Kenny Dalglish faces the sack at his beloved Anfield, following yet another Liverpool defeat - their sixth in seven games - away to Newcastle United, with the Geordies running out easy winners by a 2-0 margin.

In a disastrous showing, keeper Reina was sent off in the 82nd minute for head-butting Newcastle's Perch. £35 million striker Andy Carroll, booed throughout by the home fans proved to be an expert in the art of being totally ineffective, before his second half substitution. In an afternoon of total humiliation for the Mickeys, their Geordie counterparts mercilessly ripped the piss out of the hapless, hopeless men in red as Newcastle ran the clock down by playing keep-ball.

The result leaves the Reds floundering in 8th position in the table, with Champions League qualification looking completely out of their grasp.

The club's American owner, John W Henry of Fenway Sports Group has reportedly lost all faith in Dalglish following a desperately disappointing string of results, and a bunch of expensive signings who it transpired weren't really up to the job. Or any other job for that matter. Including shovelling shit. Probably.

Liverpool fans have been unwavering in their support for the team and the manager, but the new owners feel that it's only a matter of time before the rumblings of discontent turn into a deafening wall of sound.

The Newcastle barcode mob made their feelings clear by chanting "You're getting sacked in the morning," to a disgruntled Dalglish.

There seems little doubt that the Liverpool supporting media will try to put some sort of positive spin on what was a day of utter humiliation, but most people won't be fooled.

Let alone remotely bothered.

A statement will be made tomorrow morning, principally because to sack a fool on April Fool's Day would be regarded as the ultimate piss take.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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