Written by Jaggedone
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Sunday, 1 April 2012

image for Bombastic 2012 Olympics about to become the greatest, most expensive Olympics ever; of course they're in England!
The greatest, the biggest and the most expensive, of course where else, London 2012!

England, better known as the UK, are about to launch their version of the Olympics onto an innocent world of sports fans who enjoy people running, jumping, swimming, cycling, riding horses, playing silly buggars in swimming pools, etc, etc. But there is a slight difference to other Olympics; The London Olympics are of course going to be the biggest, the best, most bombastic, most expensive and of course, most unforgettable, WHY? Silly question; because they are being held in the centre of the world that just happens to do everything better than the rest (they believe).

Billions of global sports fans just can't wait until London 2012 begins. Because if there is one thing the Brits can do that is to make sure the eyes of the world are staring upon them as they thrust the Olympics down their throats, hook, line and sinker (stinker is a more appropriate word).

Of course the usual corruption stories will be swept under the Queen's red carpet (E.G. Use of stadium after the show has swept the world away + others!) because the Brits will not let anything come between them and putting on a show to stop all shows!

London/UK is famous for putting on bombastic shows; The best annual firework display on the planet, of course. Wimbledon, the best tennis show on the planet, of course (never won by an Englishman apart from Fred Perry and Henry VIIIth. Murray, eternal loser is Scottish and don't even mention Henman). The FA cup final at the new Wembley, of course, Oxford and Cambridge boat race greatest bore of the year and rowed mostly by hunky American students helping out, of course + others, of course.

The list is endless of greatest achievements by Brits, but their greatest ever was achieved far, far away in Honkgong; they put on The Opium War and won it hands down because their opponents were all severely "stoned" at the time!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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