Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 31 March 2012

image for Mancini's Bum Cheeks Heard Squeaking In Stretford
Squeaky Bum Time - Oh Yes! Let's Have It!

We're definitely into 'squeaky bum time' in the race for the Premiership, as Manchester's finest slug it out, and reports are flooding in that Roberto Mancini's bum could be heard squeaking from Stretford, some three miles across town.

The bum squeaking sounds floated across the rooftops of Salford and could be clearly heard in Stretford as City went 3-1 down to Sunderland at the Etihad.

But Mancini remained defiant, saying that Blackburn would get a draw against rivals United on Monday evening, and insisted that City would hold their nerve and emerge as champions.

Sir Alex Ferguson refused to comment from St Andrews golf course up that there Scotland, where his United squad are enjoying a break and knocking little white balls around with sticks.

And not patronising the fleshpots of Edinburgh, as reported in some quarters.

A United insider stated, off the record, that Sir Alex's bum never squeaks because he lubricates with copious quantities of vaseline, although the report can't be verified at this time.

Mancini's arse-squeaks apparently became less audible as City clawed back to a 3-3 draw, but a group of United supporters enjoying a couple of pints in the bar at Stretford Sports Centre swore blind that they could hear the bum squeaking from the Etihad right up until 5:30pm.

"I heard this squeaking noise at about quarter to four," one of the group told Skoob Sports News. "I couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was, and one of the lads joked that it was probably Mancini's bum. Then we turned the telly on and found out that City were 3-1 down. How we laughed! It must have been deafening in the stadium. Me and the lads aren't all that bothered that they scraped a draw in the end - United are still two points clear with a game in hand, and the lads have been there and bought the tee shirt. I just hope Mancini invests in a jar of vaseline, because after a while that squeaking drives you mad. Oh, and don't tell anybody you bumped into us, because all proper Mancunians support City, and we'd hate to bust the myth."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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