Written by IainB
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Thursday, 29 March 2012

image for Droylsden lose the Manchester Senior Cup without kicking a ball
The high sort after and prestigious Manchester Senior Cup

Droylsden FC, a not-quite-professional football club from east Manchester playing in the Conference North has lost the final of the Manchester Senior Cup without ever kicking a ball.

The game, scheduled for last week, was postponed when Droylsden admitted that they didn't have enough players to play their illustrious cup tie with Tameside neighbours, Mossley.

"The rules say I have to pick players who were in the semi-final," said manager of Droylsden, Dave Spaced. "Unfortunately, due to the high turn-over of players at Droylsden, and the semi-final being more than a week ago, this meant none of the current crop were eligible."

The Manchester FA have insisted that rules are rules, and it doesn't matter what the excuse, that's how it is.

"He could have played with nine," said Manchester FA chairman, and owner of Mossley Football Club, Francois Dupont. "We checked, nine of the team were eligible."

Spaced has said that although the Manchester FA have him down as having nine eligible players, that the list was compiled that morning, and all of those players, plus two of the new ones, have since been released, and replaced. Ironically, two of them going to Mossley.

"I don't mind losing the cup," said Spaced, who dislikes the cup so much, he normally puts the club's tea ladies in charge. "It's the stickler for rule attitude I don't like. They should be more flexible in their approach to life. Like what I am. You won't find a more relaxed man than me. And you know what? I couldn't even bribe the bugger."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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