Written by The Pimpernell
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Thursday, 29 March 2012

image for Glenn Hoddle Is New England Manager
Not Wanted At Wembly

Glenn Hoddle has been named England manager, according to a press release made from FA HQ in London.

Hoddle, 60, last managed England in 1996 - and led them to World Cup gory, or would have, had David Beckham not got himself sent off against Argentina, despite Hoddle showing faith in the the then petulant young midfielder.

Hoddle was famously sacked for claiming that all spastics were spastics because they were Nazis in a former life, a claim that several years on has been proved to be true.

Nearly 20 years after Hoddle's comments scientific proof now exists that mongoloids are in fact the reincarnate versions of Spanish inquisitors, that "spinabiffs" are indeed the souls of former Chinese communists and that "mentals" are indeed deceased Nazis.

Hoddle, who has often claimed that he was put off during his playing days by the "free loading cripples on the touchline in the spacker chairs" says he will will lead England to glory this summer but will NOT be selecting lanky simpleton and Stoke City forward Peter Crutch.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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