Written by Ossurworld
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Gronkin Donuts? The man handing out coffee at the drive-thru window at Dunkin Donuts was none other than the inestimable Rob Gronkowski. His latest product endorsement wins our approval.

We used to think only Rajon Rondo could make us dunk, but now Gronk is spiking our morning.

You could say whatever he touches turns to gold, but in this case it turns to coffee.

Hobbling around in a boot for his surgically repaired ankle, the Gronk was sliding around behind the counter at a local coffee shoppe for the early bird commuters who like that ice coffee with a little spike to it.

After seeing Gronk leaning out the window, dispensing java, we wonder if he has missed his calling-there will be no dropped change when you race through to get your morning jolt with Gronk.

The sight of Gronk in his Patriots jersey made us see red. We usually go to Honey Dew for a muffin top, but now we are compelled to switch our allegiances.

This is almost as traumatic as Tim Tebow becoming a New York Jet. What will the God Squad say about selling out to Sodom and Gomorrah?

Gronk has now outted our vice for raspberry sticks and Mocha Muffin Tops, and we are now bound to change our bad habits. We are now swearing that we will lift a cup of joe to Rob.

Tim Tebow could never get us to switch to Dunkin, and he would not look quite at home at our drive-thru. We keep envisioning hot coffee being spilled into our lap.

At best we see Tebow as a ticket-taker on Broadway at Wicked, proving he is a sure-fire Friend of Dorothy. He did attend a performance this weekend.

On the other hand, Gronk is most definitely a Coolatta kinda guy. Extra cream and three sugars, please.

Make Ossurworld's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 4?

3 20 5 4
111 readers are online right now!

Go to top