This is ANFIELD, Liverpool: Animal rights investigators have instigated an investigation in the Anfield area of Liverpool, after reports that 11 donkeys and their old Scottish handler were forceably fed humble pie for over 90 minutes, on Saturday 24th March 2012, by a group of visiting piemen from Wigan.
The donkeys' owner, John "Farmboy" Henry, is thought to be considering how to handle this incident. The old Scottish handler reckons the donkeys were TIRED after playing three games in seven days. These poor little donkeys are expected to recover in the short term but it is feared that their long term prospects will have suffered.
After the match, John "Farmboy" Henry was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. John "Farmboy" Henry stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" to which the old lady replied, "No way, you got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to
sort it out!"
John "Farmboy" Henry expressed concerns about an imminent trip to the North East where a number of the 'cart horse' donkeys are know to have originated. There is some concern that at least one of the beasts may attempt to visit old watering holes to the detriment of his performance.
As one 'blue nose' Scouser put it;
Shadenfreude ! Rab Nesbitt undermines previous occupant of the Anfield hot seat to bag the job himself. US sporting corporation bows to fan power and appoint Rab as manager. Rab then blows a fortune, turns the team into no hopers and provokes a diplomatic row from which the club is still feeling the aftershock. There's a poetic symmetry to all this don't you think. Owners,manager and fans get their just desserts