DENVER--Ever since the sports world was rocked by the signing of superstar Peyton Manning by the Broncos a few days ago, Denver fans across the country were left to wonder just how they were expected to handle such shocking news.
"I suppose we should be happy about all this," said Denver native and lifelong Broncos fan, Kyle Lumbar. "But I just can't bring myself to do it. Not since the great John Elway have we had an adequate and passable man at the helm, so I guess you could say we're just not used to the whole thing."
"Brian Griese, Jay Cutler, and that Plummer kid?" Mr. Lumbar continued. "Jesus, can you really blame us for fooling ourselves into thinking we had a bunch of winners? And that Kyle Orton fellow? Don't even get me started on that hack."
So when rookie overhyped sensation Tim Tebow replaced Orton as starting quarterback midway through the 2011 season, Broncos fans reportedly got together and said once and for all that enough was enough.
"We basically agreed to pretend we liked the guy [Tebow], and that with him we actually had a fighting chance the win the Superbowl," said Lumbar's friend, Jeff Anderson, as he choked back a fit of laughter. "And I can't believe it worked. Sure, we may have lost a bit of dignity, but in our deluded minds, we finally had another winner."
"Now that we have Manning though, none of us really knows how to act again," Mr. Anderson continued. "I suppose we could make the same ridiculously boastful claims about Manning that we did with Tebow, just without all the blatant sarcasm."
"Yeah, I think that should work," he added.
At press time, New York Jets fans were reportedly tinkering around with replacing Mark Sanchez's name with Tim Tebow's when they need a piece of shit quarterback to blame for their franchise's inevitable failures.