Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 24 March 2012

image for Denver Broncos Vice President John Elway Has Just Taken Out A $96 Million Insurance Policy on Peyton Manning
Las Vegas oddsmakers say the odds of Peyton Manning throwing a bunch of these are not very good.

DENVER - After Denver Broncos Vice-President John Elway signed former Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning to a 5-year, $96 million contract, many sports writers, reporters, and fans remarked that Elway was a much better passer than he is a vice-president.

Sports Territory Magazine's Tango Brisket stated that he cannot not understand how in the world Elway figures that Manning, who has had three neck surgeries, can continue to play the game that could end up leaving him seriously hurt.

Brisket stated that surely Elway does not even for one second think that pass rushers are going to hold back and not tackle Manning as hard as they would say, Tim Tebow, Aaron Rodgers, or even Manning's little brother Eli Manning.

No sir, those defensive linemen are going to be looking like 18 wheelers chasing down a KIA Spectra. Manning may be able to evade them a few times, but it will catch up to him and watching him get grabbed and slammed to the ground under the weight of a 320 pound pass rusher is not going to be a pretty sight.

As another sports reporter Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Weekly stated "Lets hope that Mr. John Elway has some long fingernails because watching his $96 million dollar 'Investment' get chased down by several volcano-looking behemoths is going to cause him to bite his fingernails down to the quick."

Reno added with a grin that he hopes that when Manning and Elway both yell out that they do so in male voices and not in high shrilled female voices.

SIDENOTE: John Elway has informed the sports media that he has taken out a $96 million insurance policy on Peyton Manning with The Pikes Peak Puritanical Insurance Company of Colorado Springs, Colorado.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 4?

1 16 14 10
68 readers are online right now!

Go to top