Written by Lyndon
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Friday, 23 March 2012

image for Tebow encouraged by friends not to live in the City, but instead in Holy Jersey
With home games in East Rutherford, not NYC, Tebow's new "friends" may see to it that he never step foot in the

New York City - Tim Tebow is coming to New York and those close to him are already painting the City as Sodom and Gomorrah. Instead, Tebow is being advised to jump on Interstate-95 and head south to Jersey, home of such whole television dramas as The Sopranos and Jersey Shore.

According to sources close to the Jets' new quarterback, friends feel that the City's underworldly influences and excessive nightlife would, over a matter of time, drag Tebow straight to hell.

For his part, Tebow seems unfazed by all the attention to the matter of where he ends up buying a home.

"I have to say that everyday Jersey folks have already reached out to me and made me feel welcome. I mean, just regular guys from the garbage removal companies and cement manufacturers have told me that if there's anything I need, I should give them a call and they won't let me down."

Tebow-Time is also more likely to be spent on the shore of the Garden State, and not in Soho.

"A lot of Italians must live in the area," said Tebow. "Guys called Castellucio, Ricigliano, and the like told me that there are some nice places in the shore towns where we can have really nice time."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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